The evolution of a thought

I hate being told I need to relax. Mostly because it's true and also because I don't know how. My hair falls out in clumps because I can't seem to stop the internal buzz that tells me to off myself when I burn a roast (actually never burned a roast but it seems dramatic enough). If my life had a voice over, it would speak entirely in superlatives.

My life is actually wonderful. I have an amazing little girl who never ceases to make me proud; she's whip-smart and beautiful. My significant other is also pretty great. He's patient, generous and extremely hard-working. I couldn't ask for a better partner or daughter. These two bear the brunt of my impatience and ever-changing mood. I want to be strong and reliable for them both. I know that no one is perfect all of the time and I know that I am too hard on my self most of the time. All I can do is keep trying. And I will.

I wonder if humanity's greatest problem is a frontal lobe that evolved beyond the rest of the brain's capacity to reconcile our emotions, desires and behavior.

I do know this: We are insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Humans are but a fart in time. Our purpose is simple; breed and adapt. When our species can no longer do so, we will go the way of the dodos and something else will take our place at the top of the food chain. It's that simple.

I don't believe there is a master plan or that we were created by anything other than a series of wise selections and fortunate circumstance over a long period of time. However, I am grateful that I get to enjoy the many delights that Homo sapiens sapiens has given the world: art, music, filet mignon, literature, technology, domesticated cats.

Some people look to a God or formal religion for comfort and purpose. They try to order the world and carve out a place within it using a supernatural force. I find greater solace in science. It's incredible that We Are because of two million years of beneficial slow changes. It seems almost insulting to deny the miracle of our true creation with a few paragraphs in a work of fiction that has outlived it's usefulness as a history book.

Ann O