Work has been crazy...M has a nasty cold...the weather is terrible...but I have striped socks!
I think I'm going to go to the library this weekend to start researching the house and to get some Photoshop books.
I made my legs green. Small steps.
Photography, more specifically, the 365 Days project at Flickr has been an all encompassing thing as of late. Discipline has never been my strong suit. Truth be known, I've always been a quitter. I'm 17 days in and a few of them have been a chore to complete. But I feel pretty good about this.
I'm proud to say that a photo I posted this week was in Explore, which apparently is an honor in the world o'Flickr. It's been viewed over a thousand times and I never knew that being seen would feel so rewarding. If you have some time, check out Explore. There are so many interesting and creative people sharing their work.
It seems silly to care about something like this, but I do. I spent years hiding the things I care about and never sharing things that were meaningful to me. I've always been afraid that something I felt good about would fall flat.
My senior year in high school I took a Fashion Merchandising class (don't ask me how I ended up there, or what in the hell I was supposed to learn) and the final project was producing a segment of the annual high school fashion show. I chose a "Gothic" theme and it went over swimmingly. It helped that my first models were an S&M collar & leash themed pair. I don't think my instructor quite knew what to expect after that and she subsequently hid under her seat. I ended the sequence with my interpretation of wedding attire and had a bride in grape-colored crushed velvet and a groom wearing fishnets and a kilt we convinced his sweet, unsuspecting grandmother to make.
Ten years ago at my Midwestern high-school this was mildly scandalous and one of the only things I've ever done that I have been proud to claim. It seems ridiculous to even talk about something so far removed and unimportant, but it meant something to me.
I took guitar lessons for years and never let anyone hear me. Granted, I didn't practice worth a shit, but I was so afraid of not being good. The thing is, there has never been anything I've cared enough about to really practice. Photography has been the closest thing.
I got a 110 camera when I was 9 or 10. We were inseparable. I am fortunate enough to have shared the company of a few friend for 20+ years and they will tell you that I violated them regularly with my lens. The best part is that I have wonderfully embarrassing pictures of said friends from decades before.
During my nine year stint at junior college I took a couple of photography classes. Being in a darkroom is addictive and wonderful and I hope to someday have one of my own. Though the lure of digital photography has finally taken hold. I didn't appreciate the medium until I was able to get a DSLR and enough patience to learn how to use it. Holy good God is it an amazing tool! I am Captivated and in Love.
The best part of all this is that I feel inspired and free to work without fear of backlash or criticism. I was able to post semi-nude photographs this week (hey, they are ART) and not worry about being called a whore. It's a wonderful thing. I have someone who supports me and kindly tolerates my insecurities and flat-out crazies. Other than the fact that he's bitching about my clackity-clack-clack on the keyboard, he's swell and life is groovy.
I finally feel like I have a voice I want someone to hear.
Someone in Berlin found this blog via Google. 
M has discovered an interest in photography. Saturday afternoon she picked up my phone and said she wanted to take pictures. I explained in simple terms how to use the camera function and let her wander around for a bit taking snapshots of the dogs, the floor, her finger, and some other unidentified objects.
A while later I was photographing Legos bathed in sunlight (don't ask) and she found my phone again. I got this picture of her in action and it makes me giddy. I know it's unfair for a parent to impose their interests on their offspring, but I would love for her to take photographs.
I did a little research online and bought her a VTech Kidizoom digital camera today. When she woke up this morning, one of the first things she asked me for was my phone so she could take pictures. She kept this up all day. And while I don't mind letting her use my phone, it would be nice for her to have her own camera. At one point in the day she put some Legos on the table and pointed the phone at them and asked me to get my camera and take pictures too. M asking me to take pictures with her almost made me cry.
These are the things that make up for the absolute monster of a two-year old she is a lot of the time. I don't mean that she's rotten, but that whole "terrible twos" myth is frighteningly true. She's a great girl; very sharp, funny and sweet, but HOLY CHRIST can the kid be a demon. Her newfound relationship with photography helps remind me why being a Mom is really special and how much fun it is watching her grow and discover the world.
Last night I started Flickr 365 Days. This will be good for me as I am good at starting projects and never finishing them. I need to be challenged, personally and artistically.
A couple of days before Christmas, KT and I went to Milwaukee to visit his family. It's a great drive, we prefer to take a route that cuts through small towns and farm fields rather than the sterile efficiency of the large highways. The previous two times we went I did not bring a camera and saw so many interesting things while on the road. This last time the trip up was rainy and extremely foggy. It made for some interesting drive-by photographs. Out of the hundred+ photos I took there were a few I found to be really interesting. KT says he likes this one a lot.
